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Advice to Newly Widowed Fathers of Young Children

Young children are often said to be egocentric, which means in this context that they sometimes believe that their conduct causes everything around them. Many children blame themselves for their mother’s death; for example, a child may believe that her mother died because she wasn’t nice enough to her mom. These issues are best handled by professionals, but bear in mind that it’s not always enough to deny that what the child believes is so; often, a lot of listening and asking questions of the child is needed. Another problem which sometimes arises is that children are angry at their mothers for dying-which they perceive as abandoning them-but don’t feel entitled to express it, or even feel it. Part of the job of the caregiver is to help the child understand that they are entitled to their feeling, without imposing their own feelings of anger on the child…

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