Written by Mary Gormandy White for LoveToKnow
For someone who is experiencing their first major holiday without someone they loved deeply, the occasion is anything but merry and bright. Don’t ignore people who are grieving a fresh loss during the holidays, but choose your words carefully. Rather than relying on chipper and upbeat holiday greetings and off-the-shelf cards, let them know you’re thinking about them in a way that demonstrates both empathy and sensitivity. The sayings and poems below can help you do just that.
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Someone you love is hurting. It’s the holidays. You want to help. What shoul
d you do?
Host Andy Dean is joined by licensed social worker Chrissy Isaac to explore how to be supportive of a friend or loved one who is grieving during this usually festive time of year.
LISTEN HERE
This handbook can help those in mourning through the holiday season. Mourners will work to better understand their complex emotions after reading about such topics as honoring thoughts and feelings, creating new traditions, finding ways to de-stress, and incorporating healing rituals into the holiday season.
PURCHASE HERE
The holidays can be a challenging time when you’re in grief. So often, our
friends and relatives don’t understand, and they want us to just get over it.
Join David Kessler as he shares strategies to navigate the holiday season.
All are welcome – whether your loss is new or the holidays are bringing up grief from seasons past.
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Spend a few minutes with Code 4 Couples in this informative and entertaining podcast.
Cyndi Doyle talks with Chief John Monaghan (Ret.) and his wife, Tricia about his recognition of his problem with alcohol and the growth that came from recovery for him individually and them as a couple.
John now does contract work for SAFLEO and speaks passionately about officer mental health and the impact on the family.
September. National Suicide Awareness Month.
September 26. National Law Enforcement Suicide Awareness Day.
Join in the nationwide mission this month –
#Bethe1toOver the past year, BtBF has been called on for guidance and support four times when an agency lost an officer to suicide – that’s twice as often as our responses to department-declared Line of Duty Death during the same timeframe. While we do not share publicly our responses to every call for assistance from an agency or family in need, we do believe it important, during National Suicide Awareness Month, to speak out about the need for support of families and agencies who lose an officer to a death by suicide – and to highlight
resources available for prevention and awareness.
There are two resources we want to highlight this month for our Suicide Survivors.
Survivors of Blue Suicide (SBS) Foundation’s mission is to foster hope by uniting survivors of law enforcement suicide to support one another and honor our fallen heroes.
Blue H.E.L.P.
Honoring the Service of Law Enforcement Officers Who Died by Suicide
Offering comfort and honor to the families who have lost an officer to suicide is necessary to maintain the credibility of the thin blue line. All officers, regardless of method of death, deserve thanks; all families deserve your support.
Our August Insider Newsletter, shares words from Madison Thompson, surviving daughter of Deputy Ryan Thompson, Kittitas County Sheriff’s Office, EOW 03.19.2019. and a special Seafair event, a see you later to a special staff member, and reminds you of our trainings, events and resource center. Check it out here.
As we close the month of September, we recognize National Law Enforcement Suicide Awareness Day.
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, there are an average of 130 suicide deaths per day. The number of suicides amongst law enforcement officers and first responders is unprecedented. While this sadness seems to spin beyond our control there is reason to be hopeful. Now we can acknowledge the cumulative effect of stress and trauma in a law enforcement career. And, with that, the resources available today, from training and outreach to peer led and professional support providers is ever expanding.
If you know someone who is struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out – you might save a career, a marriage or even a life.
Brian Johnston
Executive Director
Behind the Badge Foundation
Resources:
National Suicide Hotline – dial 988
National Survivors of Blue Suicide
Code 4 Northwest
Safe Call Now
“There is a lot of noise and chaos in our world. How do we filter through the noise to remember our foundations? Gravity podcast explores the relationships, experiences, and values that keep us grounded in a chaotic world”
Click HERE to listen to the latest Episode of
Gravity Podcast – Marriage Mondays
“Tune in every other Monday to listen to Jaimie and Chris unpack over two decades of marriage. It is going to get messy! You are guaranteed to laugh and maybe even cry.”
As we move further into the month of May and many of our agencies, officers and families feel increased emotional response as recognitions happen across the state and the nation in preparation for Peace Officers’ Memorial Day on May 15th. We hope you’ll be intentional in taking time to be aware of not only your own mental health and wellbeing – but that of your work partners and your loved ones at home.
Take a look at this article for one such break – be well and take care of one another.
How to assess mental health in your EMS partner, yourself (ems1.com)
If I was going to start with one offering for new and seasoned law enforcement officer wellness and an exceptional resource for their overall family health, it would be this – “Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement” by Dr Kevin Gilmartin. My agency gives a copy of this book to every new hire – it is the gold standard, remaining one of the pre-eminent offerings for law enforcement emotional/psychological awareness.
The book’s foreword starts, “If you’re a cop, you’re going to love this book. It could change your life. It might even save your life, your career, your home life. If you’re not a cop, you’ll still love it because the ideas in this book could certainly apply to you too. Maybe you’re in a relationship with a cop…”
“Dr Kevin Gilmartin is eminently qualified to write about emotional survival for law enforcement because he lived it, studied it, researched it, and taught it.”
Anyone who is, loves or wants to support a law enforcement officer and/or their family will benefit from the full-length book.
In this podcast from “The Squad Room”, Dr Gilmartin talks Leadership, Health and Wellness
120: Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement with Dr. Kevin Gilmartin | The Squad Room
Once you finish that – I encourage you to listen to more episodes from “The Squad Room” with Garrett Te Slaa. There are so many great topics for cops, families and friends.
On behalf of all of us here at Behind the Badge Foundation – be well, take care of yourself and look out for each other.
Stand with pride my friends –
Detective Meg DiBucci
Programs and Services Director
“Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement” by Dr Kevin Gilmartin
“The Squad Room” Episode 120
Read their latest article about the
2021 Washington State Peace Officers Memorial Ceremony
Please note: Since this article was published it has been determined that the event on June 4th will be the Peace Officers Ceremony only. The Medal of Honor Ceremony will occur in the fall per COVID-19 restrictions.
By Ellen Kirschman, Ph.D.
Therapy won’t make you perfect, but it will help you live a wiser, happier life.
In my last post, I wrote that fear about confidentiality is high on the list of reasons cops don’t reach out for help. But there are other reasons like stigma, shame, or the distorted belief that only weak people have problems. Here’s what I know after 40 years of counseling LEOs: to need help is to be human, not weak. And problems are more easily borne when shared with someone you trust.
Police work is hard, always has been. And it’s getting harder all the time. Being a cop will change you. How could it not given that most cops will see more cruelty and tragedy in the first few years of their career than the rest of us will see in a lifetime. But—I want to shout this at the top of my lungs— it doesn’t have to damage you. Not if you learn to protect yourself and your family, and live with resilience. What does resilience mean? It means the ability to struggle well and bounce back in the face of adversity. This is different from those familiar, yet faulty notions of invulnerability, self-sufficiency, and rugged individualism that run rampant throughout law enforcement culture.
As a cop, you are probably a natural self-reliant, problem solver who is reluctant to burden others with your problems. Certainly, you prefer to talk things over with a peer or a family member before going to a “shrink.” You might even talk yourself out of going for help by worrying that you are making things worse than they really are, your problems are trivial compared to others, and you don’t want to burden the therapist who will probably run from the room the minute you start telling it like it is. This kind of stinky self-talk is like losing the pain in your tooth on the way to the dentist. Rest assured, the pain will come back, only now you need a new tooth and antibiotics instead of a simple filling.
Why to go? Some people start therapy because they are interested in personal growth. Others start because [READ MORE]
